Have you ever felt like your friendship is being unappreciated? Or how about being blatantly blown off by one of your closest friends?
Today, I felt extremely lonely. Have you ever found yourself just staring into the space because no one is talking to you or you have nothing else to do? I found myself doing that several times today, I’m not looking for your pity, cause I’m not writing here because i want you guys to sympathize me, i write here just to channel my emotions somewhere less destructive.
Sometimes my insecurities get the best of me and i find myself shrinking back into my self more and more with no one there to distract me. It’s a scary feeling, to keep thinking about your problems, mistakes and regrets and its just keeps coming at you until you will yourself to stop it. Usually I would have dance videos online or friends who would talk to me to keep me from going to that place within myself, but at times, when you’re all alone and no one is around you, those thoughts would most likely creep up on you and consume you until there’s nothing left but the shell of who you once were. In my opinion i believe everyone will experience a battle with themselves so that they won’t go to that place in your mind, some people are strong enough to overcome it and control it to a certain level but sometimes, in the moment of weakness it’s easy to surrender to the feeling.
And no matter what you do,
It gets you everytime.
I can definitely tell you that i have yet to overcome this, and i have a feeling that even if i try my hardest to, i will never get past the fact that I’m not strong enough for this.
Song Today:
Santa Monica – Theory of a Deadman
